So hello! I'm back after a rather long time. Okay, let me make a confession. My iPhone's being taken away. Had a hard time accepting the fact, and cried alot. And really alot. Was always emoing at home, and refused to do anything. I was in a bad mood ALL the time, but on texting, i sounded alright. So okay. What couldn't let me let go of my iPhone was partly, or i would say half of the reason, is TWITTER. It's been days since i parted with my iPhone. I couldn't tweet for days, and i felt truly bored. Okay, i can't believe i'm actually blogging 'bout this.. but i think i should really say out whatever that's on mind over here. If not this blog would defeat its purpose. So okay, my confession's done. So now, shall blog 'bout what happened.
My mom replaced my iPhone with a iPod classic. Like wtf right. iPod classic's more expensive than iPod touch fgs. And yet she still bought it. Okay anyway, better than nothing right? So thank you, mom. ^_____^ And to be perfectly honest, i'm not as lonely anymore as compared to the previous days cos' i've music to listen to. Have been rather anti social towards my family lately. Now there're two perfectly good reasons: for the loss of my iPhone and i've another distraction. Alright. Enough talk on electronic devices.
Saturday. ♧
Say hello to my dearests: Angie, Melissa and Kirstin.
Say hello to my dearests: Angie, Melissa and Kirstin.
I don't know why Adilah wasn't in this picture. ): But nevermind. ADILAH, you know you're one of my dearests right? Hahaha, hope you do k! ^_____^ Hehehe. So anyway, the band went with the dance and choir members to watch LION KING. Okay. I've to say. It was spectacular. Many unique and really big props. The music produced was also good. Okay.
Lion King : ★★★★★★★★✩✩
Left: Melissa. Right: Kirstin.
Left: Melissa. Right: Kirstin.
#nowplaying SHINee's WOWOWOW.
One more day. And his papers will finally only left MCQ. So, we're going out on 5th. ^_____^ It's been DAYS since i saw him. I actually cried yesterday cos' i thought of him. Sigh. I REALLY MISS YOU LA HOR. T______T Sigh. Okay. That'll be all for today's post. I've nothing much to post anyway. So baibai for now. ^_________________^
Read this only if you're interested. {/Flashback}
I always underestimate the power of love. I thought it would bring me down, especially my self confidence. I guess that explains why i used to be so down when i was with {anonymous}. I finally found out why i've been always so down. That's because i've been with the wrong guy all the while, {anonymous}. You had never loved me, guess tyh was right afterall. You change your heart second after second. I should have believed him from the start. My love for you at that time blinded me from what was happening behind our relationship. Even when i saw you with her, i chose to ignore than to keep questioning you why why why. I chose to leave the situation quietly. I didn't wanna make a fuss of anything. You wanna know why? Cos' at that time, i just loved you and only you. Come to think of it.. i was wrong. I thought that you're PERFECT. Oh yeah, surely you are. What a two timer you were. I took a whole 1 month to get over you, did you know that? I cried every single night silently. My heart shattered into pieces and i thought there was no way i'm gonna pick myself up once again. I was emoing even without myself knowing the reason why i emo. I cried and cried over and over again. I thought there was no way i could get over you. It was until i was active on twitter once again. Then i started to know cwh. He was the one who brought me back up again. From pieces to one whole again. I always thought i'm strong, but as time passes by, i realised i'm not as strong as i thought. I'm a really weak person. My family neglects me, my friends neglect me at times. So i was practically left with only twitter. And back to you, {anonymous}. I can't believe you fucking did this to me. And plus it was a fucking two times. I was really an idiot to accept you into my life, twice. I'm fucking horrible. Not knowing my mistakes. You're scary.. you cheated on me. I don't dare to trust you anymore. Not even as a friend. Don't ask me why.. i fucking hate to say this. But i think if i don't spit it out.. i'll continue to be this upset when i'm alone everytime.
Do you remember the day that you asked for a breakup? 3 June. On that night, i practically cried my whole heart out. I began thinking what have i gone wrong. I was reflecting and reflecting over and over again. But still, nothing came across my mind. Do you know why? That's because i wasn't in the wrong. But you were. Though on the outside, you look really goodlooking. But i doubt in the inside, you're actually equally good looking. I wonder how many girls' hearts have you shattered out there. Think you can't even count right? You said that it'll be better if we stay as friends. Well, i've a different opinion. I think we'd better remain as strangers for the rest of our lives. We're totally opposite from each other. You're never opened, you refuse to be my listening ear. You ignore me. Wow, so many others things have yet to be listed. You know what? Forget it, i guess we're not meant to be. Please just STOP pestering me alright. I've a boy to love out there okay?
You texted me just a few days ago.. asking if we could patch. I said a NO firmly. You kept asking why, and said you miss me. Don't ever tell me "I miss you" these three words, seriously. I don't believe you anymore.. i'm sorry to say this but.. it's true. I wonder what would happen if you see this. But i'm telling you, if you can't take it from here.. ignore the rest of the posts.. and click on the 'x' button on your right hand corner of your computer. I'm really warning you to do that. But i'll still continue on with this post.
You're a liar. A pathetic one. And i was an idiot. A fucking stupid one. Yeah, that was my fault. I wonder if you've realised that i've been ignoring you during band. I hope you did. Wanna know why? Cos' i'm scared of you.. i'm really scared. NOTHING'S OVER. This is the song that's playing on my iPod now. See, i can still survive and be this strong without you. Okay. This isn't my credit at all. This is thanks to my cwh. Okay. To end this post, i would just like to say. I'M SCARED OF YOU, {anonymous}.
I realise.. the past has been bugging me too much. I kept thinking of this.. and i think it'll be better if i say this out. Cos' i believe after typing this long post out, i'll feel much lighter and happier. Okay, and i am now. ^_________^ So i guess this blog has served its purpose. I'm currently listening to Just a dream. Yeah. I shouldn't think 'bout the past anymore. I should move on.. be myself. Be happy and contented with life. Love cwh as much as possible, miss him as much as possible. Love.. so powerful. At least i can feel someone who's there for me. Even when it was just a text message. See. How powerful is love.
I was thinkin 'bout you, thinkin' 'bout me, thinkin' 'bout us, what we're gonn be. Open my eyes. It was only just a dream. So i travel back, down that road. Will you come back, no one knows, i realise, it was only just a dream.